


Wild Horses

by gbbs



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-16
Updated: 2015-01-26
Packaged: 2018-03-07 18:42:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3179045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gbbs/pseuds/gbbs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"So much had been taken from her (...) She felt like taking something from life as well."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Childhood living is easy to do

**Author's Note:**

> "I watched you suffer a dull aching pain  
> Now you've decided to show me the same  
> No sweeping exit or offstage lines  
> Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind  
> Wild horses couldn't drag me away  
> Wild, wild horses couldn't drag me away  
> I know I've dreamed you a sin and a lie  
> I have my freedom but I don't have much time  
> Faith has been broken tears must be cried  
> Let's do some living after we die"
> 
> Wild Horses - The Rolling Stones

1.  
Grace was feeling a little unsure of herself, standing there in the white ruffled dress her aunt had prepared for this moment. She had rehearsed a lot and the lyrics kept floating around her head all day - her focus a bit too sharp for an eleven yearold girl, her teachers always said. She was up on a small stage they had made for their Christmas party, the friends of the family all pleasant smiles and her father beaming with pride.

She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and sang. Suddenly the world dropped dead and there was only Grace and the song. When it was over she opened her eyes to a room full of people looking at her with smiles, clapping.

Later her father chastised her for keeping her eyes closed the entire time.

2.  
They had known each other since they were small children, their friendship always carefully watched by their parents. He had blond hair, green eyes, a friendly smile and as her father put it, he "brought a certain lightness" to her. Grace was a beautiful teenager, but with an air of seriousness that made her seem older. She was very bright and a fast learner; she could sing, dance and charm people to her will. But once she was at home, comfortable in her own little world, she would be easily found among books, a certain disdain for the conversations of the people she should be friends with made evident in the way she talked about them. The friendship of Henry was one of the few she held truth and he was very dear to her.

They were talking excitedly about a book they had just read, Grace defending her argument with passion when Henry blurted out that he loved her. She stopped talking, eyes wide and mind blank. The air sat very still for a few moments before he asked, looking almost on the verge of tears, if she loved him back. Grace nodded and then he sat closer to her, pulling her face to him and kissing her awkwardly. She said a small reprimand afterwards, but he just smiled at her, "it's okay Grace, you're going to be my wife one day." She wondered if he was right, but kept to herself.

3.  
"Your brother is gone, Grace, he's gone".

That's how her father told her and she would never forget it. Grace had lost her mother, but she was too young to remember anything. For as long as she could remember family meant her brother, her father and Henry. Sometimes her aunt would visit, teach her about the "feminine world" and then disappear again, looking after her own family. So when her brother fell ill, Grace was the only woman there to look after him - at the age of seventeen, she looked like one at least. She fought bravely, almost never leaving his bedside. She was always exhausted, her hair wild, her eyes bloodshot. Grace thought bitterly about how the doctor had kept her away from her brother's final moments and then realized she had been expecting this outcome. That's what broke her and she started crying.

Grace's brother was gone, Henry was fighting the war and her father the IRA.

After that, she spent two days locked in her room, refusing to do anything. When she came out Grace not only looked like a woman but also felt like one.

4.  
"Mr. Campbell, it's Grace Burgess" - his secretary announced her then took a step back, closing the door.

"Dear Grace, how are you? It's so terrible, what happened to you."

Grace had, in the short period of a year, lost her fiancée and her father. She was alone in the world. All the people around her pitied her and wanted to find her a good man. She wanted to do something for herself and for those she loved so she decided to become a copper, thinking sadly of how her brother never had the chance to do so. She often thought of things that would never happen: how a young, energetic Henry would never hold her in his arms again, kiss her and love her as he had before he left for the war, promising of a return that never happened in whispers and letters and looks repeated so much it almost felt like truth. How her stern father, always worried about her, would never ask her to sing again. So much had been taken from her. She even thought of the mother she never knew, a respectable woman with a talent for music she had inherited. She felt like taking something from life as well.

So she told this Mr. Campbell, a very well connected friend of the family, her plan. He sat it in motion.


	2. like real people do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grace is trained, goes on her first mission and meets the Shelby's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I knew that look dear  
> Eyes always seeking  
> Was there in someone  
> That dug long ago  
> So I will not ask you  
> Why you were creeping  
> In some sad way I already know
> 
> So I will not ask you where you came from  
> I would not ask and neither would you"
> 
> Like Real People Do - Hozier

5.  
Mary was in charge of her training and decided to take Grace in for the duration. She thought Grace how to dress and apply make up, took her to fancy dinner parties with coppers and politicians, showed her how to hide a gun inside her purse. She talked about their work with passion and Grace admired her enthusiasm: Mary sought out the truth while Grace was looking for revenge, she thought sadly. 

They had an easy friendship and for a while, Grace forgot about anything else that wasn't her training and Marys laughter, an earnest sound. On a sunny morning, she was sent off to her first mission, Marys lips on her cheeks and a warm promise of success and a blissful reunion looming on the horizon. 

6.  
Grace muttered under her breath, cursing her bad luck. It was her very first mission and she wanted it to go smoothly, but now she would have to kill that man. She was sure he was IRA and that his death would be an acceptable price for the piece of information she had just gotten, but it wasn’t the outcome she had so carefully planned. At least she still had some hours to plan it so that she wouldn’t leave a bigger mess behind her. 

After it was done she went home, a new found numbness inside her. She prepared a bath for herself, the hot water burning her skin for a while before it turned cold. There was nowhere to go. 

7.  
"These are the men you're supposed to investigate. I'm sorry you didnt have time to go back home" Campbell said, giving Grace the files. 

She examined it: the younger was John Shelby and there was very little on record about him, although he had fought the war at an impressively young age. Then Thomas Shelby, with an impressive war record and an even more impressive one in the streets of Birmingham. The older one was Arthur, who looked less like his siblings except for his activities of choice. They ran a lot of illegal operations but nothing that concerned Grace. If it weren't for the fact that they were Irish and that the police suspected they had stolen all those guns, Grace would have never spent a minute on them. 

"Get to know them. Get all the information you can. Beware of Thomas Shelby."

"Thomas? It says here Arthur is the eldest."

"He is, but he doesn't run the business. These are dangerous man, Grace. If you need anything, let me know. I'd hate to see you get hurt."

"Don't worry, Mr.Campbell. I'll do better this time. It will go according to plan."

Grace excused herself and left. Tomorrow she would see for herself if there was anything to be worried about.

8.  
At first she hated him, truly did, the arrogant bastard asking her if she was a whore again and again. He was a handsome man but that wasnt enough to cloud her judgment - she was not as weak as he was, she thought as he watched her sing. Then her faith began to falter. Maybe he wasnt bad enough to have those guns with him, maybe he was just what he seemed: a gangster who fancied himself more powerful than he truly was. 

Then he took her to the races. Tommy and his fucking secrets and plans, using people like they were things. She had feared for her life then, feared being left alone with that Kimber. And she saw a glimpse of who he truly was: he might as well have those guns after all. She reached for her own gun, deciding that her position as agent of the crown had to be enough to keep this mess under control, afraid someone would retaliate before she had time to prove who she was. Then he changed his mind. Maybe he didn't deserve to hang, but he deserved punishment. Grace was not forgiving and Freddie Thorne was in jail quickly after that. The Shelbys turned on him and she watched. 

All she ever did was watch and try to guess what Thomas Shelby thought of things. He was impossible to read to most people and she wondered if cracking open his skull would give her the answers he would never give willingly. The fucking bastard was smarter than all his brothers, smarter than Billy Kimber and Mr. Campbell but not smarter than her.

9.  
She had never been with someone since Henry left for the war. The thought of another man touching her made her anxious most of the times - the attention of man was something to be tamed to her liking and not enjoyed. But Tommy was different. She wanted to know him. Being with him was like learning a new language: they were two foreigners desperately in need of communication. She couldn't help but wonder what he had to tell her. 

Everytime Campbell cursed him she couldn't help but fear, wondering if there was to a way out for the Shelby's - her intuition told her Tommy had the guns and they were about to blow up in his face. His plan was weak and the enemies were closing. Soon she wouldn't be able to keep them at bay like she had that one time. She might as well deal the last blow and let him keep some good memories - would they be forever tainted? For her, they wouldn't. 

She realized she referred to him as Tommy in her head. And that being close to him felt good. And that she felt happy singing to the men at the pub, amused at Arthurs jokes and entertained by their world. It wasn't hers: Graces world was black and white and here everything was gray, from the sky to her dresses, everything got darker and darker as the day ended. Tommys eyes wondered to her, promises escaped his lips so naturally she allowed them to lull her for a little while. It was a shame it couldn't be that way. Her hands were steady, but for how long? Would Tommy noticed when he held her that she was a bit too frantic, a bit to desperate? She had to move. And the guns had to be taken away from him. How long before Campbell or the IRA lost their patience? 

There was no plan: just the hope that her presence was enough to shield Tommy from Campbell. When he asked her to help him in life she wondered if he would try to kill her when the truth came out. She was willing to bet her life wouldn't. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update, hope you guys enjoy it. This is going to be all Grace's POV but I'm thinking about doing one from Tommy's in the future. Let me know what you think :) Also, if you have any prompts, hit me up on tumblr @ boredbychoice


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